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Read More: Over 400 of Elon Musk’s Children Attended No Kings RalliesWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In yet another indication of the heavy turnout for the No Kings rallies, over 400 of Elon Musk’s children attended the protests, according to estimates released on Sunday. Donald J. Trump, furious at the size of the No Kings crowds, claimed that the estimated attendance of 7 million “is much lower when…
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Read More: Mike Johnson Opts for Medically Induced Coma to Avoid Swearing in New Democratic CongresswomanWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the nuclear option,” House Speaker Mike Johnson opted on Tuesday to enter a medically induced coma to avoid swearing in newly elected Democratic congresswoman Adelita Grijalva. Johnson spoke to reporters at Walter Reed Army Medical Center moments before doctors administered pentobarbital through an intravenous tube connected to his left hand.…
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Read More: The MediaI hope you realize that they’re attacking PBS and NPR because they’re among the few national media outlets not totally beholden billionaire ownership.
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Read More: MAGA Youth Pastor and CPAC Performer Zachary Radcliff has, been charged with 30 additional child sexual abuse charges.Michigan church youth director faces 30 new felony charges in sexual abuse case I wonder if Trump will pardon him if he’s convicted? A former Washtenaw County church youth group director will now stand trial on 60 charges connected to sexual abuse after a judge added 30 more counts following testimony Tuesday. Zachary Radcliff, 29,…
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Read More: The ACA BattleThat includes me motherfuckers. “Thanks to Republicans, a 60-year-old couple making $85k/year will have to pay over $22,000 more EVERY YEAR to keep their coverage. For families already hanging on by their fingernails, it’s literally a matter of life and death.” – Sen Elizabeth Warren
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Read More: ‘Explicit and outrageous’: South Park is back with its most gratuitous episode since naked TrumpA legitimately epic story is unfolding, involving the antichrist, savage depictions of a billionaire … and loads of scenes about The Donald’s penis Even outside its notoriously tight weekly production schedule, South Park has always run on an unpredictable calendar, sometimes taking years between seasons. This time around, it’s jumping from one season to the…
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Read More: Girl Scout CookiesBefore you buy Girl Scout cookies you should know they support transgender girls and reject donations from anti-transgender organizations, and then buy a couple more boxes
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Read More: My 6 Weeks With CPSSometime in 1999 or so, I was working for a contractor that did the support for the Chicago Public Schools. That meant that I was driving all over the South side in areas where I had no real business being. So me, in the ’87 Astro Van, two tone grey and my 2 German shepherds…
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Read More: Trump admin blesses ‘Bitcoin Jesus’ with post-indictment dealTrump admin blesses ‘Bitcoin Jesus’ The Trump administration has granted yet another friendly deal to a cryptocurrency investor facing criminal prosecution. President Donald Trump and his family are deeply invested in cryptocurrencies, and his administration has halted numerous crypto-related investigations and pardoned an assortment of crypto enthusiasts, including notorious drug trafficker Ross Ulbrecht. Now, it…
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