- November 1974, Lauderhill FL, weekend after Thanksgiving, I refused to get out of my uncle Paul’s car to go back in to my mother’s house. I gave him a brief rundown as to why and refused to get out of the car. Period. I wasn’t crying or hysterical, I was just adamant. I wasn’t going back in that house. After talking to her for a long while on the front porch he agreed to take me back home with him. Once home he called my father and asked him if he could come and get me, about a 45-minute drive. My father says he will leave immediately. My father and Seren show up at Paul’s house and we leave for 3535 NW 101st Street in Miami, my dad’s house. It’s dark out when we get to my father’s house, so it is easy to see all of the flashing lights of the squad cars surrounding my father’s house. He is immediately face down on a squad car hood and handcuffed and taken away. Seren and I go inside and don’t see my father for a few days until someone posts his bail on kidnapping charges. I never go back to live with my mother again, though I find out later that he still was paying her child support. He found me a school to go to and I started the next week. I was 8 years old and I had taken control of my life away from my mother finally. The abuse would stop.
- 1979 Northbrook, IL, Summer. I went to a garage sale somewhere in Northbrook and for $1 bought a copy of Tommy by the Who. I knew so little about it that I didn’t even realize that I only bought LP1 of 2. I went home, dug out the old H.H. Scott tube stereo from the garage and using 8 pinball machine speakers made a pair of speakers. I then dug out the Garand turntable and learned how to use it. I figured out how to hook it all up. I then proceeded to listen to Tommy full blast for hours and hours. This was my introduction to Rock and Roll and music. I learned to appreciate what Tommy was about. A couple weeks later I went to Dog Ear Records in Sanders Court and bought a used copy of Tommy with both LPs. I was in heaven. My record collection started from there to be over 300 records total. I still have every one of them to this day.
- For my 16th birthday I was given two cars. Two 1972 Chevy Impalas, one blue and one green. The green one was wrecked, but had a good motor. The blue one was kind of wrecked, with a few dents, and a blown motor. My father told me that I could have both cars to make one out of. I had never worked on anything larger than a garden tractor in my life and had no idea where to start. I pulled the green Chevy in the garage and began to take it apart. Within about a week I had the engine laying on the floor of the garage. I called Victory Auto to come take the carcass away. Then, using a garden tractor I pulled the blue Chevy into the garage. Within a few days I had that motor on the garage floor and began stripping it down and swapping parts from the green one’s engine. That took a few days to figure out and do. It took about another week of learning curve to finally get the green car’s engine in the blue car. After much trepidation and nerves, I turned the key and it started. I drove it out of the garage and down the driveway making a real racket as I hadn’t hooked up the exhaust yet. But it ran and moved. It took me about 3 weeks total, but I’d done it, alone. I found out later that my father told my mother that he didn’t think I’d ever get the car running and that he’d have to goi out there and finish it.
- 1979 Northbrook, IL, Summer. My mother joined St. Peter United Church of Christ in Northbrook and I went with her. They had a confirmation class and a Youth Group. I joined both. While I wasn’t too keen on the confirmation class, I was ecstatic about the Youth Group. There I met quite a few kids within a few years of my age. There I met Keith Eberlein. We became fast friends. Of course, I also met Lynnea Ostman and Colleen Callahan, the latter would plague me for years. The youth group did things like go to Biloxi Mississippi to work on hurricane ravaged houses and the Boundary Waters canoe trips. We went to Canada a total of 5 times. As the years went by, the youth group was my haven. The people were my family. I hated my high school. Hated the people in my high school with the exception of maybe 3 classmates and a few teachers. The reason that I spent the majority of my high school time either on assorted drugs or booze was to keep my sanity.
- ISU: I went to ISU because my HS friend Tom who was a year ahead of me went there. It was mandated that I go away to college somewhere. I chose ISU because Tom was there. I may not have gone to the classes that I was enrolled in, but I went to 200 and 300 level classes like philosophy, art appreciation, women’s studies, theater and so on. I only showed up to the classes I was enrolled in enough to pass, which I did for the most part. I met a lot of cool people. I got to interact with people that made me think.
- The Yamaha XS1100 Special: I bought the bike in Bloomington by having a friend co-sign the loan. This really pissed my parents off, big time. The upshot of this was that with inspiration from the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance I spent the better part of a year riding around the country. The downside was that after getting the living daylights beat out of me by a psychotic neighbor, I rode the motorcycle from Pheonix to Normal in January of 1986 in sub-zero temperatures. Of course that is another story completely. The right decision here was that I didn’t leave the bike behind as my father ordered me to.
- Bike rebuild: Before I left for my trip, I was changing the oil in the bike when I discovered that the oil fill was filled with gravel. When the bike was on campus, someone had opened the fill spout and poured gravel and sand down the engine. The 1100 was the largest displacement Japanese engine at the time. It was also one of the most complex engines. Knowing that there had to be damage internally, I was left with little choice than to pull the engine and disassemble it. Of course I had zero experience with motorcycle engines. The first thing I did was go to the bookstore and buy a Haynes manual. The second thing I did was pray to the motorcycle gods. The third thing I did was pull the engine and put it on a bench and start disassembling it. That took about 3 days. I then pulled the heads off and started working my way down to the crankcase halves. Once down to the crankshaft I could see the scoring on the crank where the main bearings and rod bearings ran. Off to the Yamaha dealer on 41 I went to talk to a mechanic. I was told that I could emery cloth the journals and use undersized bearings. The alternative was to grind the crank, running hundreds of dollars, which I didn’t have. The engine came apart in over 600 pieces, nuts and bolts. It was spread out over 3 work benches in the garage. My father and his friend Steve Jameson had a bet that it would never run again. My father was not thinking it would run. I bet them $50 that it would. I spent the next 3 days crocus clothing the journals and measuring them and sizing the bearings. When I was sure that I had it all right, I started putting things back together. From that point forward it took me 4 days at 12-14 hours a day to reassemble the engine. It took the better part of a day to get the engine back in the bike. At about midnight on the last night, I filled it up with oil, turned the key and started it up. It purred. It may have taken the better part of 2 weeks, but I’d done it. The bike was running. I took it out for a ride down Dundee and up to Saunders Road. No noises, just smooth running. Against all the odds and the gods, I’d done it.
- The Trip: Now with the bike running I was ready to go on my trip. I had a sleeping bag, a tent and an old army duffel full of clothes. In the trunk I had a cook stove, a bottle of white gas, a 5 piece cook set and a can of creamed corn. The creamed corn was for if I ever got really hungry it would be the last thing I ate. The saddle bags had a skillet, tarps and a few books and maps. I headed for Middleport Ohio first to see my grandmother. I spent the night there and at breakfast she asked me if I’d go home and not worry my mother any more. I told her that I was sorry, but this was something I had to do. From there I went to Richmond IN where my father’s family was. It was awkward at best. I went up the East coast from there, and down the coast. I went through Florida and across I10. I stopped at a family friend’s in Pheonix where I did babysiting and cleaning for room and board. By the time it was starting to get cold I decided to stay in Pheonix. That was ok until January when the beatings commenced.
- The Ride: When I left Pheonix it was in the 30s. It soon dropped to the teens. For the 1226-mile trip to Normal, the second half was all below 10 degrees and below zero for the last 500 miles. However, I didn’t abandon the bike. I made the right choice to ride it home no matter what my father said. I landed in Normal in time to see the Space Shuttle disaster and enroll in classes 3 weeks late. Now this was a great adventure I will admit. This was a once in a lifetime adventure. However, it was insane. The fact that I lived through it was a combination of sheer brute force will and plain dumb luck. At any point in that ride, I could have been wiped off the highway and killed. Hell, the fact that the truckers and civilians were taking bets on me making it across the Illinois line says it all. There has to be a better way to learn life’s lessons.
- ISU: When I enrolled back in classes at ISU, I had a couple hurdles to cross. First, I had to convince professors to let me enroll 3 weeks late. Second, I had to find somewhere to live, and third I had to convince my mother to pay the tuition. After telling my story to the profs, I managed to get into classes. I enrolled in political science and theater classes and an English 101 class to get the prerequisite filled. I found a room with my friend Tom who had one of his 3 roommates in an apartment of 4 drop out. My mother reluctantly agreed to cover the tuition. Unlike my first semester at ISU, I didn’t spend this one finding out how high I could maintain a blood alcohol level. See? I did have a learning curve. Theater was a bust. I enjoyed the classes and the exercises, but I found out that in order to get an actual part in a production you had to sleep with the right teachers. That was a non-starter for me. I lasted one semester.
- Livingston Automotive: I didn’t enroll in classes the next semester. I think I was done with school for the moment. We printed up fliers for Livingston Automotive and put them up all over town. I befriended a few shop owners and gained their confidence. I had 2 spots behind my apartment that became my workspace. I had no clue how to run a business, but I figured out how to work deals with parts suppliers and even had them delivering parts to me. I learned what customer service meant, and how to do it well. I learned of a shop opening up on Lee Street, 106 South, in Bloomington and when the current resident left negotiated a $250 a month rent agreement with the person who shared the space. He was a slimeball, and he spent his days in the bathroom with girlie mags, but I had a roof over my head and heat in the Winter, even if it never got above 40 degrees. Steve and I were the only white people within miles of the shop, but the guy that worked for Steve was well known in the community so the shop was safe by default of Jimmy. Jimmy’s white wife would come in often in her Cadillac with about 6 babies. It was a lesson in the ghetto for me. However, I was busy and I was making a name for myself. I hooked up with the guy that printed the ISU student directory and secured the back cover with a full-page ad. That brought me in a lot of work. I still may not have a clue how to run a business, but I was doing it off the seat of my pants.
- Robin: Ok, so Robin was both a fuck-up and something I did right. I met her late in 1987 when she brought her car in. We were married in May of 1988. I was in now way prepared to be a father and a husband. I was showing signs of being bi-polar, working 20 hours a day for weeks and then crashing for weeks. I was a mess. I was trying to take care of Robin and Jessica and not myself. I loved Jessica dearly and did all that I could do as a father. I was doing a poor job at all except the shop, it was flourishing. There was a crash coming, only I didn’t see it yet as it was too far over the horizon. Frank was born in June of 1989. I was at a point with Robin, who refused to deal with any issues that were going on in our lives, that I was going to tell her that I didn’t think this was going to work. The day that I had screwed up the courage to tell her that was the night that she told me she was pregnant. So now I was going to be a father for real. I had to wrap my head around that concept. I just went back to work and focused on that.
- Linden Street: Sometime in 91 I became aware of a building on Linden Street just off campus being available. I immediately negotiated the rent and moved in. This was much larger, cleaner and safer shop. Business boomed. The problem was that I still didn’t know how to run a business. I knew how to generate revenue, I knew how to conduct business and negotiate with vendors, I knew customer service and how to sell. But I didn’t know how to control the influx and outgo of money. I didn’t know how to control the business. It controlled me, I was just along for the ride it felt like. To be completely honest, that was almost 40 years ago and I don’t feel much more in control now then I did then. I still feel like I’m just hanging on for dear life and watching the money go out. A very good friend has told me that I need to learn how to budget myself. How do you budget chaos I asked him.
- 1408 South Main Street, Normal: When I found out about the building on Main Street I immediately jumped at it. It was a 2400 square foot building with 3 in ground hoists. Those hoists were so full of potential that I’d have paid anything for them after laying on my back under cars for 10 years. We built an office in one corner and it had an upstairs 12×12 room that we cleaned up for the kids to be in after school. That is when I started focusing on English and European cars, mainly Jaguars and Mercedes and MGBs. I did a lot of SAAB work and Volvo work. Being in sight of Brokaw hospital I immediately became the mechanic of choice for the doctors and admins. The money came rolling in in sacks. I hired a secretary and 3 mechanics and a gofer. When my secretary left, Robin wanted to do the job, and I agreed. To se how that turned out, see Fuck-up #8 or Start to Finish. The run at 1408 S. Main ended disastrously and catastrophically.
- A couple years before the shop at 1408 imploded, Allison came up to live with me after Robin and I split. At first this was a good thing. She was very good at running the office, she was a good partner, she was a good friend. And then after we moved up North, she was a nut. She couldn’t handle the urban environment, she couldn’t hold a job, she spent her days playing Dr. Mario on the couch. My friend Aaron and I packed her up in a U Haul and sent her back to Oklahoma never to be heard from again.
- Moving back up North: That was both a serious fuck-up and something I did right. I was bankrupt, broke and had nowhere to go. I had no job and no marketable skills. I had an offer from my father to run a mill in the machine shop. I took it. I didn’t know that my father’s true intent was to make me head of manufacturing over 35 people. I found that out within a week. At first, I was a combination of honored and happy, I was happy that my father wanted me to do this. It didn’t dawn on me at first that he had betrayed me and my mother by not being honest with his intentions. I didn’t figure that out for awhile and then it was too late.
- Frank: Frank was living in Normal with his mother, under really poor conditions. He was doing poorly in school, she couldn’t keep a house for more than 6 months and his life was generally chaos. I would pick him up from school on Fridays and talk to his teachers to see how he was doing. Every week it was worse. Finally, one Friday when I asked the teacher, she motioned me to come into her office. There she showed me the gradebook that showed Frank failing in most subjects. I knew what I had to do. Frank and I went to a pizza place and I called Robin. I informed her of what I knew and told her that this wasn’t working. I told her that Frank needed to come live with me. We spent an hour and a half on the phone. I was on a cell phone, calling long distance while roaming. That call costed about $300. The only reason that I had the cell was because it was on the shop account and my mother was paying for it.
- Frank Moves Up North: I took Frank back to Normal that Sunday, and on Wednesday I met Robin at Lorenzo Road on I55, the half way point. I had spent all day Monday and Tuesday finding him a school and getting him enrolled. He ended up at North Elementary in Des Plaines. The principal, Dr. Carmen was wonderful. The two ladies in the office, Jan and Cathy, were great. I made sure to make friends with them immediately. When Frank started on Thursday, the ladies in the office got flowers as a thank you for getting all the paperwork together and getting him enrolled so fast. Dr. Carmen turned out to be an ally that I greatly appreciated.
- After Allison left, I went through a couple relationships and a second marriage that didn’t last long. What I did do right was meet Voula. Voula was the head teller at the bank I used. Whenever I needed something done, and done right, I asked for Voula and would know that it was done right. I appreciated her greatly as an asset to my business. I was extricating myself from a marriage, and on a Friday afternoon when I was at the bank, I asked her if there was any policy against her going out with a customer. She said that she didn’t know of one. So, I asked her if she’s like to go out with me that night. She told me to hold on, went to one of the tellers who I later learned was her cousin, and came back and said yes. Turns out that she had to ask her cousin if she would babysit her daughter. We went out that night and that was the beginning of what is now a 23-year marriage. So, I did that one right, although I’ve fucked it up a few times over the 23 years.
- 2003: ZGeek. Z Geek was an Australian web forum that catered to computer geeks, odd balls, political extremists, perverts and porn enthusiasts. I had a ball with the tech people, had fun with the politics, poked fun at the perverts and laughed at the porn. However, what I did do right was meet Rich Dunkel. Rich lived way south suburbs, but we always found a way to get together. Rich is by far the most intelligent and brilliant yet opinionated person I’ve ever met. We have developed a friendship over the years that knows no bounds. I’d would and have done anything for him and he for me. If I ever need to know that someone has my back, whether he totally agrees with me or not, it is Rich. If I’ve done anything right in the last 20 years it was getting to know Rich
- How Things Work: Sometime in the late 1990s I was looking for someone to help me design an LED circuit. I was searching the web and came across the How Things Work news group. The list owner was Mark Kinsler. I researched Mark and found that he had an electrical engineering background and lived in Ohio. Now as far as I was concerned, anyone from Ohio, as Seren was, was ok by me. So, I contacted him directly. We started exchanging emails and I learned a lot about him and his wife Natalie. Natalie was a finance professor at OU and in a previous life had been a nun. They soon became very important people in my life. When they moved to Lancaster from Athens, I went to Athens and helped them move. We have seen each other many times, with them coming here often and meeting in Indy often. They hold a very special place in my life, so much that I refer to Natalie as my 2nd mother as I can talk to her about anything.
- The most recent thing that I have done right is cutting off contact with Beth. While contacting her in November of 2024 may have been one of my biggest fuck-ups, cutting off contact is a beginning towards healing and making things right with Voula.
- Maybe a good thing that I did was buy my Subaru. After the Mercedes got tottaled, I didn’t go back to a Mercedes, I learned. I went for a good, solid car that won’t kill me on upkeep. I like my Subaru, and it has a great sound system.
Vorkt
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